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I Remember When
Knowingly and unknowingly my search has always been to discover and know my origin, my beginnings from whence I came. To find that 'Substance' out of which " all and everything " came forth and continues to do so. That first Breath, the Vital Breath of Life. To search out the " All and Everything " which created " all and everything " The very 'Being of Being-ness', the reason for my Search to Be that which just Is. Has been an endless "Pilgrimage" since reaching the age (twelve) of inquiry and reasoning with a few detours here and there. But even in those periods of distractions 'the search beckoned.

As I wrote many, many years ago in the flyleaf of a book. Also in a journal both of which I have since lost. "As I came up out of my watery voyage and took my first breath. There were many strange sounds and tones all about me. They seemed to be trying to gain access within, but I knew not why?. They insisted on entrance, there were so many, some louder than others, some more demanding, more persistent. But their need seemed to be the same;"listen to me, listen to me." But out of all the goings and comings of these variant sounds, one of them stayed. A single sound in a slightly audible whisper calmed the sea of sounds. Then from this single sound came a softer sound which filled me and became intelligible;" Be Still and Know." I had heard this sound before but I could not remember where or when. Maybe another Pilgrimage another time. Another paradigm or another dimension of space. I knew that I had heard these same words somewhere.

My quest, my journey, my walk from then to now. From now returning back from whence I came. Has always been my intent, my longing desire; a desire that has pulled, tugged and pushed. At times seemingly dragging and goading me to reach out beyond the acceptance of the given scripts of the time.

I have wandered over and around, across, up and down, in and out of the wastelands and the wildernesses of life. Walked in the sun and the shadows. Experience the fields of beauty the awe, wonder and ecstasy of the colors of Love both divine and human. Shared in the ascending heights of joy and in the descending sorrows of the valleys and the Shadowlands.

But I would not relinquish one small tear or a single joy of all my descents or ascents. Nor my searching and seeking or any of my steps. That has led me and shown me the way back.

For all of these have given me a "coin" of a different realm that will last beyond all earthly coin, known or unknown. For this; I give thanks daily. I am indeed privileged; privileged to be held by the Power, the Force, and the Absolute Will. Choose your own words, symbols or rituals. I am privileged to know that I am embraced, loved and accepted by that which "just is". That which is beyond verbal definition but not beyond experiencing if one chooses it to be so.

This life experiencing involves a surrendering at that point of entry into the "Now." Into its' center; a moving towards the intrinsic core of the moment. The giving of ones' self, ones' energy, ones' essence to the scene, to the object whether animate or inanimate. And as we are giving of ourselves, we are not only defining ourselves, we are defining the very Substance of the very Substance that is the plasma which holds "All and Everything" together. This we have referred too, as the Creative Will, the Power, the Force that gives out of the Absolute Body of Love.{The Void} out of which all that is or ever will be, "Is".

A note of caution:

Our motivation for giving needs to be the giving of ourselves, out of ourselves. We are speaking about a giving that cannot keep from giving and giving freely. A giving out of Love, out of concern, out of compassion. A Love that is committed; to wanting that which is the more excellent for the loved one. All those things that are the most conducive for the growth and evolution of those we love. If I do not give with this in mind. The gifts are of little value.

As is the case with most external giving; the giving of things instead of the giving of what one is, of who one is. Those intrinsic gifts that can if received, cure the thirst and the hunger of the spirit. While at the same time enhance, empower and challenge one to reach beyond his or her human nature, to their Absolute Nature so they might "consciously" return back.

It should not have to be said but in light of our proclivity to lean towards the egocentric. If we give so we can receive something in return, or to be rewarded. We have not only violated ourselves and the recipient. But even more seriously; we have violated the "Source", the "Substance" of all our gifts and graces. To give of oneself (Ones' Ultimate Nature} or while one is becoming and being; is the Supreme Definition of 'who and what one' Is.

The rub, the difficulty of the above statement lies in the words; "give of oneself". The dilemma arises, when the tree is barren or the well is without water. It is impossible to give of oneself if an emptiness prevails. The giving of things is no substitute. We do not need to belabor this point by expanding on the thought. Who and what we are, is essential, if we are going to give of ourselves. For without this knowing; our gifts are hollow and without power and presence,

Surrendering our ego, our smaller self to our Higher Self, our Actualized Self-created a different paradigm. Which demands new knowledge, new understanding, a new response-ability and task re-orientation. Along with new techniques, new skills, a different posturing and frames of references, different sightings, and directions.

A new way
To walk the talk,
A new definition,
Which one needs to become,
be and do.

There is no looking back. When ones' hand has been placed in the hand of the Ineffable. After one has had a taste of the Infinite.

The Love Affair continues......

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